Maneuvering through your own reactions takes understanding and knowledge of yourself. How you learned to manage your disappointment and frustration over the years contributes to...
Poor Communication
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Category: Anger
If I Could Give Each Person Just One Gift
If I could give each person just one gift, it would be the gift of being able to truly see themselves through the eyes of the people around them. It would be a sobering gift, for...
3 Parts of You
Do you know the different parts of yourself? Most of us are only vaguely aware of the 3 different parts that I like to talk about in counseling: The Adult, The Little Boy/Girl,...
The Blame Game
How do you discuss tough topics? If you are able to self-differentiate, not define yourself based on another person's actions or words, then you are able to hear another...
Letting Go Of Resentment
Resentment is so incredibly common. We all feel wronged by someone at some time or another, and where there is blame, over and over again, there is resentment. Everyone walking...
The Art of Listening
As a therapist, you can imagine the importance of being a good listener. Listening is a must-master skill for this profession, and it is not one that we humans are born with, but...
The Most Powerful Last Word
Do you need to have the last word in an argument? Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say? What drives this compulsive need to make the last...
Moving From Victim To Victorious!
When hardship happens in your life, how do you handle it? Do you metaphorically throw yourself down on the floor and have a kicking, screaming tantrum? Or do you accept it as...
We Never Resolve Anything…
Are you the couple that avoids and distances when you don't agree? Or, are you the raging couple? Do you fightconstantly? In either situation,someone is trying to control the...
Defensiveness: Protecting The Heart
Defensiveness is an excellent indicator to help find woundedness in the human heart. After all, we defend places that hurt, like a lion protecting a paw with a thorn in it....
Emotional Anorexia
Most people are familiar with the term anorexia. When they hear the term they think of an eating disorder. People can also suffer from emotional anorexia. I see emotional...
Understanding the System Within the Self
Referring to reactivity, most think of it in a negative context. It is not always screeching (please refer to blog entitled ‘My Life as a Screech Owl’) nagging or crying....
ANGER 101 (or Making Good Use of Anger)
Making good use of anger? Come on, really? We are taught from a very young age that anger is wrong and to express anger is even worse. So what the heck am I doing trying to say...
My Life As A Screech Owl: Living in Reactivity
Have you ever been in a relationship that made you feel like a screech owl? Wait, some people believe no one can ‘make’ us feel anything; we cause ourselves to have particular...
Marriage: The Well Oiled Machine
Marriage counseling is not really about fixing marriage. Sounds weird, yes I know. But marriage counseling is about fixing you. You are the only one that you can control, and you...
Broken Radar
Are you constantly scanning the environment trying to figure out what your partner is feeling? Do you and your partner seem to be “reading” each other all the time? If so, do...
Forgive for You!
Forgiveness is a word spoken daily in my office. It is a struggle that most endure at some point in their lives. A woman who cannot get over and move on from being molested by a...
Angry Men . . . Passive Women
Imagine a guy driving his speedboat down the river. It’s a gorgeous day, the water is smooth like glass, and he’s zooming along having a great boat ride. He thinks it’s the...
Angry Women . . . Passive Men
She practically levitated off my couch. The anger this woman had been storing for years was spilling out of her and all her husband could do was sink deeper into the sofa. By...
Stuffing & Suffering
Are you a Stuffer? When something bad or unpleasant happens, do you dismiss it, minimize it, or just quit talking about it? Maybe you try to talk about it, but, when met with...
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