I recently got a vivid reminder of the power - and pain - of projection. Projection is when you project your worst beliefs or fears about yourself onto someone else and believe...
The Pain Of Projection
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Category: Communication
Instant Gratification
Wow, do we live in a culture that loves it some instant gratification, am I right? I’m reminded of a video I saw once where a gal was going around asking random people on the...
“It’s Going to be OK”
I had a client the other day remind me of something that illustrates a great point about being a good friend…particularly being a good friend when your friend is in pain for some...
Anger and Healthy Boundaries
Have you felt strongly about something when you're really irritated, but then forget about that same thing like it was no big deal? Or have a bad thing happen that put you in a...
Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?
Why do some arguments never end? Why do you need to win? Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way? These are the very things that keep many couples...
Say What You Mean
Communication. It sounds simple and easy enough. More often than not, we don't say what we mean. And most of the time, we don't express what we feel. If you feel you're...
Boundary vs. Ultimatum
I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...
Violent Communication
Do you use violent ways to communicate? I don’t mean physically hurting someone (although we certainly don’t want that, either!) What I’m talking about are ways that we...
Journey Back to Loving (Part 2, sort of)
Is your sense of unworthiness keeping you from embracing, communicating, and meeting your emotional needs? Let's talk. The original intent of this writing was to discuss the book...
Reality of Marriage
Falling in love and getting married…..it seems so happy. Planning the party, imagining living together, hoping to get every type of happiness is pretty normal for most couples....
Poor Communication
Maneuvering through your own reactions takes understanding and knowledge of yourself. How you learned to manage your disappointment and frustration over the years contributes to...
Why Is My Blended Family Not Working?
Let’s face it…blended families are not easy. Marriages and raising children are hard on its own, adding step parents, step children, half children, and marriages can feel nearly...
The Art of Listening
As a therapist, you can imagine the importance of being a good listener. Listening is a must-master skill for this profession, and it is not one that we humans are born with,...
The Most Powerful Last Word
Do you need to have the last word in an argument? Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say? What drives this compulsive need to make the last...
Why Won’t My Husband Listen to Me?
One of the common complaints I hear in my office when someone first comes to see me is “My husband does not hear me!” Okay, so let’s be honest that it is not always the wife...
Invitation vs. Expectation
I work with couples regularly who are stuck in the power struggle. They fight with each other over which one is going to act and behave according to the other’s worldview. It...
Marital Fact or Fiction: Our Issue is Communication
One marital myth that I hear quite often in my office is that the root of most marital issues is trouble with communication. It is not uncommon for couples to come in seeking...
Communication…Having the Right Conversation With the Right Person
In therapy, as in life, it is essential to remember that each individual and each relationship is unique. Each story is special. There is no magic bullet, no ‘one size fits all...
What’s Missing In Marriage?
What is a common missing ingredient in the couples that frequent my office? It is present in the beginning of a relationship. We heap it on and lavish our new love with it. Then,...
Why Does Your Marriage Lack Intimacy?
Having intimacy in a marriage is not just about having a healthy sexual relationship. There is emotional intimacy as well that is being connected on a deep emotional level. Not...
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