I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...
Boundary vs. Ultimatum
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Category: Marriage
The Marriage Saver
People ask me now and again, what is the key to staying married for the long haul? My parents are about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary, and it is obvious to anyone...
The “Fixer”
What happens when your partner or friend tells you about a problem? Do you automatically go into “fix it” mode? It’s a pretty common response to want to right a wrong. Something...
If I Could Give Each Person Just One Gift
If I could give each person just one gift, it would be the gift of being able to truly see themselves through the eyes of the people around them. It would be a sobering gift,...
Are Your Emotions Unstable?
Do your emotions sometimes feel unstable? Do you find yourself doing things you thought or promised you wouldn’t do? Does your partner? You may be experiencing what I call the...
The Most Powerful Last Word
Do you need to have the last word in an argument? Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say? What drives this compulsive need to make the last...
How You Might Be Blocking Your Own Needs!
Do you ever become aware of a need and then immediately feel guilty? Or maybe you have a need but feel guilty asking for it to be met? Perhaps you hesitate asking for your need...
How To Gain Control Over Your Life
Want more control over your life? It is much easier than you think! We spend so much of our time feeling anxious and out of control and we expend so much energy ruminating and...
Why I Can’t Change
Change is not easy. Sometimes people think that if you want a change bad enough change is easy; but change is not easy. If it were easy, no one would smoke, everyone would eat...
Pornography: The Effects
We’ve heard all the main arguments and reasons to not watch pornography: because it objectifies people, it can be addictive, it’s morally wrong, etc. As we take note of the...
Is There Sex After Marriage?
One marital myth that I think many people hear about is that once you get married, you stop having sex. This marital myth or fact is a little bit harder to answer because this...
Why Is Marriage So Hard?
Why is marriage so hard? We meet the person who fits us perfectly and the love flows so freely, it is difficult to imagine it could ever be hard. So why is it so tough? I have 4...
Dating After Divorce
Should I really start dating again? Am I going to make the same mistakes? Maybe I should just be single. Are you considering entering the dating arena after the divorce...
Finding Happily Ever After
Have you been looking for happily ever after? Let’s face it. Deep down, that’s what we all want – for the struggle to end, the ease to begin. We want the comfort of having our...
Marriage Fact or Fiction: The Seven Year Itch
Welcome to marriage fact or fiction! I am starting a weekly series to either confirm or debunk marital myths. Enjoy! It is popular belief that marriages suffer from the “seven...
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
It’s a valid question. Does marriage counseling actually work? As a marriage counselor, you would expect my answer to be a resounding, “Yes!”, and to an extent it is, but I’m...
What’s Missing In Marriage?
What is a common missing ingredient in the couples that frequent my office? It is present in the beginning of a relationship. We heap it on and lavish our new love with it. Then,...
We Never Resolve Anything…
Are you the couple that avoids and distances when you don’t agree? Or, are you the raging couple? Do you fight constantly? In either situation, someone is trying to control the...
Are You Being Real In Your Marriage
It seems as though just about every client grimaces a bit when I share this piece of feedback. “People are happier when they can see themselves outside of their...
INTIMACY…What is it? Where did it go?
One definition of intimacy is ‘a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship'. Another definition is 'sexual intercourse’. The separate nature of...
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