Today we are going to look at what procrastination and perfectionism have to do with each other. Do you have procrastination tendencies, like me? Do you wish you could stop, and...
Procrastination and Perfectionism
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Category: Shame
Thoughts On Failure
'Round about the end of January, many folks are beating themselves up and having feelings of failure in keeping their new year's resolutions. There are other times any time of...
How 1 Word Changed My Shame
If you have shame - you know, that nagging, nasty inner voice that tells you everything you haven't done, everything you should've done differently, and how you otherwise just...
Do You Ever Take a Ride on the Shame Train?
Do you ever take a ride on the shame train? The shame train is when one horrible thought you may have about yourself turns into another and then another. The shame train makes...
Resolutions
As we enter into another new year, it is common to think about resolutions, or changes, that we would like to make. Is the word "resolution" like a swear word to you? For many...
Where Does Narcissism Come From?
Let me begin today by saying that I am not a fan of labels at all. I think that labels are for people who need to group people together for their own purposes, like insurance...
The Deeper Pain of Childhood Sexual Abuse
Childhood sexual abuse takes many forms. It can be anything from inappropriate touch to rape, with an extensive continuum of victimizing behaviors in between. The abusers can be...
What Therapy Is, and What Therapy Is Not
I think many people who have not participated in therapy have some misconceptions of what therapy is and what it is not. Some of these misconceptions are what keep people from...
Broken Radar
Are you constantly scanning the environment trying to figure out what your partner is feeling? Do you and your partner seem to be “reading” each other all the time? If so, do...
Sitting In Your Stuff
”I feel like a crappy husband and father.” This was the response I got from a client recently when I asked him how he felt after seeing the movie, Courageous. I was intrigued...
Mirror, Mirror
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? A good person who is kind, generous, and loving? Do you see a good parent, spouse, son or daughter, employee, friend? That’s what...
Tears of Joy
Marriage counseling can be successful, but therapy work is full of pain, sadness, and tears. Couples come in full of anger and resentment towards each other. They yell, they...
Trick or Treat
When you look into a child's eyes when they are all dressed up in their Halloween costumes, all you see is joy, fun, excitement. Dressing up and pretending to be someone they are...
Perfection Prison
I am a prisoner of perfection. My cell is fear - fear of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, writing the wrong words, having the wrong opinion. What is it that makes a...
Group Therapy is Not Torture!
You should see the look on my clients faces when I suggest they go to group therapy. You would think I asked them to jump into a tank full of sharks with a cut on their leg....
To Be Judged
Far too many of us live our lives in fear of judgment - from friends, family, God, even perfect strangers! Why is it that everyone else's opinion of us is so important? In...
Negative Self Talk
What is your negative self talk like? “You are so lazy, how could anyone love you.” “You are so fat, how could anyone even look at you.” These are horrible statements that most...
Oh, the Shame . . .
Feeling Shame and Guilt Today I was once again reminded of how ugly shame is. This is not your average, 'oh, I forgot to call my sister on her birthday' shame, this is the...
Parenting – Yesterday a Boy, Today a Man
Memories Of the Little Boy Parenting is a wild ride. The other night I dreamt of myself playing with my 2 year old son. He was pudgy and playful and so positively gleeful. His...
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