‘Round about the end of January, many folks are beating themselves up and having feelings of failure in keeping their new year’s resolutions. There are other times any time of...
Thoughts On Failure
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Category: Uncategorized
How 1 Word Changed My Shame
If you have shame - you know, that nagging, nasty inner voice that tells you everything you haven't done, everything you should've done differently, and how you otherwise just...
Healing Trust Damage
Healing trust damage is a topic that is pretty common in my office. For example, how does one overcome the trust damage that occurs when a spouse has an affair? What if your...
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
It’s a valid question. Does marriage counseling actually work? As a marriage counselor, you would expect my answer to be a resounding, “Yes!”, and to an extent it is, but I’m...
Resolutions
As we enter into another new year, it is common to think about resolutions, or changes, that we would like to make. Is the word "resolution" like a swear word to you? For many...
Communication…Having the Right Conversation With the Right Person
In therapy, as in life, it is essential to remember that each individual and each relationship is unique. Each story is special. There is no magic bullet, no ‘one size fits all...
What’s Missing In Marriage?
What is a common missing ingredient in the couples that frequent my office? It is present in the beginning of a relationship. We heap it on and lavish our new love with it. Then,...
The Trial Of The Mind
I love a good courtroom drama. Stories like “A Few Good Men” and “To Kill A Mockingbird” offer a lot to think about as well as some good suspense. I have recently begun using a...
Unintentional Communication
As parents, spouses, friends, and family members, we often communicate unintentional messages that get us into trouble! To make matters worse, our partners have “guessers” that...
INTIMACY…What is it? Where did it go?
One definition of intimacy is ‘a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship'. Another definition is 'sexual intercourse’. The separate nature of...
How People Pleasing Hurts You
When you are a people pleaser, the list of people in your life that you try to make happy can often times be endless. It is not always confined to just your spouse, kids, or...
Are You Too Needy?
Are you too needy? Most of us would never admit to such a thing, yet we all have a little clinginess in us. How do you know when you are too needy in a relationship? Signs Here...
Doormat or Detective? What To Do After An Affair
If your relationship has been through an affair, you know how difficult it is to rebuild trust. I have had so many couples come to me wanting to repair their marriages after an...
The Honeymoon is Over
If your sense of who you are is defined by judgments or actions of others, then you are experiencing enmeshment. Over investment in others and less investment in...
Divorce Is A Tragedy Of The Heart
Divorce is a tragedy of the heart. I don’t encourage it and I certainly don’t judge anyone who has had to go through it. Sadly, I have joined those ranks recently myself. No...
Pain from an Affair
Dealing with someone you love who feels distant, uncommitted, and is possibly having an affair can be gut wrenching and painful. The sting of betrayal, the lousy levels of...
The Power of Gratitude
Gratitude is one of the best daily practices you can foster. If you are on Facebook, you have likely seen posts about the gratitude challenge, asking people to post, for seven...
Should You Trust After An Affair?
Should you trust after an affair? Is trust even an option at that point? How do you know when it is safe to trust and when it is not? People that have suffered through an affair...
Why is it all My fault?
Do you ever wonder how your spouse seemed one way when you first met but then turned out to be a totally different person after a few years?? At first, you can’t imagine how this...
How To Develop Patience
Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy. Be careful what you ask for and for SURE be careful what you pray for. If you have prayed or otherwise asked the Universe for the trait of...
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