“You never support me!”

by Javan | Apr 28, 2013

Do you feel like your husband doesn't understand you or do what you need? Do you feel disappointed or deeply hurt? Most people have needs and wants of their loved ones. When...

The Deeper Truth of Abandonment

by Karen | Apr 26, 2013

Abandonment….what does it mean? The definitions found on Dictionary.com are: to leave completely and finally; forsake utterly; desert; to give up; discontinue; withdraw from....

Compassion

by Javan | Apr 21, 2013

Compassion…. a simple word, a simple concept, a lovely experience to both provide and receive. However, compassion is rarely provided when it's needed. It’s easy to provide...

If You Are Tired Of Getting Walked On . . .

by Kathy | Apr 21, 2013

If you are tired of getting walked on . . . then get up off of the floor! (Al-Anon saying) I love this quote. It succinctly states the obvious that most codependents cannot even...

“I don’t feel APPRECIATED!”

by Javan | Apr 7, 2013

The definition of appreciation is "Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things." (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/appreciation. April,...

How Therapy Works

by Javan | Mar 24, 2013

Marital, individual, couples or family therapy is designed to help you identify personal struggles and make healthy changes. Therapy is not just about a painful childhood. Many...

Processing Pain

by Javan | Mar 7, 2013

Emotional recovery from any painful situation involves deep processing. If you're asking yourself why, you've come to the right place. I can provide some clarity around why...

Movement and Courage

by Javan | Feb 24, 2013

Being able to live out our dreams, hopes, and expectations can be challenging. Finding the motivation or inspiration to have hope is the first step. But we can't stop...

Grief and Grieving

by Javan | Feb 10, 2013

I am a Mom Who has not experienced child birth Who does not know what its like to send her child off to school Or watch my baby sleep I am a Mom without children Reading to my...

Shame is Good! What?

by Javan | Feb 3, 2013

What is shame? How does it work? Is it something to avoid or learn from? Do you find yourself thinking any of the following? I have to prove myself to others I have to hide who I...

Hope for Anxiety

by Javan | Jan 27, 2013

It seems like everyone has anxiety. We hear the word anxiety used constantly in everyday situations. You might hear it around work, from friends, even at your child's...

Anger, The Great Cover-Up for Fear

by Javan | Nov 9, 2012

Your recovery is about you and recognizing that you are not defined by the things that happen to you. Your recovery is about being separate, having a self, (self-identity) from...

Goals and the End

by Javan | Nov 3, 2012

Everyone and I mean everyone who seeks marriage counseling wants goals. Its normal and part of the therapy process to have certain expectations around the purpose of counseling....

FEAR…..Muuahahahahahaaaaaaa!

by Javan | Oct 26, 2012

Well it IS almost Halloween! Are you aware that you make choices out of fear and worry? OK, are you aware of how many choices you make out of fear and worry? Some choices that...

“Yes, You do need to Change”

by Javan | Oct 21, 2012

A couple of comedians recently provided inspiration to me. Inspiration about the journey of life and how we spend our time. Adam Sandler came into my life a while back and so did...

“In the Beginning…there was Space!”

by Javan | Sep 14, 2012

This week has been heavy with abandonment, neediness, and despair. I often feel hopeful for many clients who are able to deeply process their pain, understand and accept their...

Enmeshment 101

by Christy Aloisio | Sep 12, 2012

Most people would be a little surprised to hear a podcast about being to close in a marriage (see Hot Mess Radio's podcast on Enmeshment at the end of this blog!). What's wrong...

“He Cheated, Why do I have to work on therapy?!?!”

by Javan | Sep 6, 2012

After an affair, it’s hard to imagine that hope, healing, and trust could exist in any way in your relationship. From a recovery perspective, the reality of the state of the...

“I am NOT insecure!”

by Javan | Aug 16, 2012

One of my favorite moments in therapy is hearing someone say they are the opposite of what they are expressing. Just like, “I am NOT insecure! I would be happier if it wasn't for...

Affairs, Cheaters, and Lies

by Javan | Aug 12, 2012

What do you do after an affair? You are devastated, your spouse has cheated, he says he's confused and doesn't know what he wants. You feel more devastated. "What does he mean he...

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