“I don’t feel APPRECIATED!”

by Javan | Apr 7, 2013

The definition of appreciation is "Recognition of the quality, value, significance, or magnitude of people and things." (http://www.thefreedictionary.com/appreciation. April,...

How Therapy Works

by Javan | Mar 24, 2013

Marital, individual, couples or family therapy is designed to help you identify personal struggles and make healthy changes. Therapy is not just about a painful childhood. Many...

Processing Pain

by Javan | Mar 7, 2013

Emotional recovery from any painful situation involves deep processing. If you're asking yourself why, you've come to the right place. I can provide some clarity around why...

Movement and Courage

by Javan | Feb 24, 2013

Being able to live out our dreams, hopes, and expectations can be challenging. Finding the motivation or inspiration to have hope is the first step. But we can't stop...

Shame is Good! What?

by Javan | Feb 3, 2013

What is shame? How does it work? Is it something to avoid or learn from? Do you find yourself thinking any of the following? I have to prove myself to others I have to hide who I...

Hope for Anxiety

by Javan | Jan 27, 2013

It seems like everyone has anxiety. We hear the word anxiety used constantly in everyday situations. You might hear it around work, from friends, even at your child's...

Anger, The Great Cover-Up for Fear

by Javan | Nov 9, 2012

Your recovery is about you and recognizing that you are not defined by the things that happen to you. Your recovery is about being separate, having a self, (self-identity) from...

Goals and the End

by Javan | Nov 3, 2012

Everyone and I mean everyone who seeks marriage counseling wants goals. Its normal and part of the therapy process to have certain expectations around the purpose of counseling....

FEAR…..Muuahahahahahaaaaaaa!

by Javan | Oct 26, 2012

Well it IS almost Halloween! Are you aware that you make choices out of fear and worry? OK, are you aware of how many choices you make out of fear and worry? Some choices that...

“In the Beginning…there was Space!”

by Javan | Sep 14, 2012

This week has been heavy with abandonment, neediness, and despair. I often feel hopeful for many clients who are able to deeply process their pain, understand and accept their...

Enmeshment 101

by Christy Aloisio | Sep 12, 2012

Most people would be a little surprised to hear a podcast about being to close in a marriage (see Hot Mess Radio's podcast on Enmeshment at the end of this blog!). What's wrong...

“He Cheated, Why do I have to work on therapy?!?!”

by Javan | Sep 6, 2012

After an affair, it’s hard to imagine that hope, healing, and trust could exist in any way in your relationship. From a recovery perspective, the reality of the state of the...

“I am NOT insecure!”

by Javan | Aug 16, 2012

One of my favorite moments in therapy is hearing someone say they are the opposite of what they are expressing. Just like, “I am NOT insecure! I would be happier if it wasn't for...

Wearing Childish and Insecure Goggles

by Javan | Aug 5, 2012

After watching so many goggles cross the TV screen during the Olympics, I was inspired by the goggles the Olympic swimmers and divers used as they courageously competed....

Courage to Face the Fears

by Javan | Jul 8, 2012

Using courage to face your fears means understanding that you don't or won't feel safe in painful situations with your significant other. That doesn't mean that it's healthy to...

“You Are Controlling!”

by Javan | Jun 3, 2012

Control isn't about typical jealousy you see in a "lifetime" movie. It's being over productive, doing pre-emptively what others are able to do. Being controlling doesn't mean...

Who Are You Really??

by Javan | May 25, 2012

Who are you really? The typical answers won’t do here….such as student, wife, mom, daughter, father, owner, employee, doctor, lawyer, teacher, brother, lover, husband, etc. These...

Jealousy……But Why?

by Javan | May 20, 2012

Why does negativity stick? Why, when something negative crosses your path, do you feel upset and why does it linger? It seems too often that people define themselves based on...

He Didn’t Know Her

by Javan | May 10, 2012

Inspiration is everywhere in the work of a therapist. There is a fair amount of relationship pain that walks into my office. Many wish to have love, acceptance, and...

How to Improve Your Golf Game (and Maybe Even Your Marriage)

by Christy Aloisio | Apr 19, 2012

I have many clients who enjoy playing golf. I often hear the small talk of, “I am playing golf with my buddies tomorrow,” or “This weather is so great, I think I need to fit in...

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