Want a true test of your character? Try answering these questions . . . Does your spouse respect you? Do people view you as humble? Do your co-workers trust you to do the...
A True Test Of Character
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Category: Relationships
Boundary vs. Ultimatum
I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...
Caregiver Burnout
Those who spend a great deal of their life caring for others...whether that be an ailing family member, someone with a chronic or terminal illness, or your patients if you work...
Violent Communication
Do you use violent ways to communicate? I don’t mean physically hurting someone (although we certainly don’t want that, either!) What I’m talking about are ways that we...
Yes, or No?
I ran across a really good quote today that spoke to me. Louie Giglio said "Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is...
Co-Parenting After Divorce
When people get divorced they are often angry, bitter, hurt and devastated. Their plans have been foiled and their lifestyle has changed. But in addition to all that, they now...
The “Fixer”
What happens when your partner or friend tells you about a problem? Do you automatically go into “fix it” mode? It’s a pretty common response to want to right a wrong. Something...
The Blame Game
How do you discuss tough topics? If you are able to self-differentiate, not define yourself based on another person's actions or words, then you are able to hear another...
Are Your Emotions Unstable?
Do your emotions sometimes feel unstable? Do you find yourself doing things you thought or promised you wouldn’t do? Does your partner? You may be experiencing what I call the...
The Most Powerful Last Word
Do you need to have the last word in an argument? Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say? What drives this compulsive need to make the last...
Intimacy Builder: Validation
Validation simply means acknowledging, and giving importance to, the worldview of another. Validation is a powerful tool in a therapist’s toolbag, and can disarm anxiety and...
Why I Don’t Give Advice
It's pretty common for people to seek out a counselor to get some advice. They want answers, a referee, an expert to tell them how to get out of the place they find themselves...
LOVE
What is love? What does love mean to you? How do you feel when you say that word to yourself? What is it like to say to someone "I love you?" How do you love when you're feeling...
Invitation vs. Expectation
I work with couples regularly who are stuck in the power struggle. They fight with each other over which one is going to act and behave according to the other’s worldview. It...
Why Is Marriage So Hard?
Why is marriage so hard? We meet the person who fits us perfectly and the love flows so freely, it is difficult to imagine it could ever be hard. So why is it so tough? I have 4...
Dating After Divorce
Should I really start dating again? Am I going to make the same mistakes? Maybe I should just be single. Are you considering entering the dating arena after the divorce...
Premarital Counseling
Begin the marriage journey prepared and informed with premarital counseling! Planning a wedding, getting engaged, choosing wedding rings, even remarrying are all exciting times...
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
It’s a valid question. Does marriage counseling actually work? As a marriage counselor, you would expect my answer to be a resounding, “Yes!”, and to an extent it is, but I’m...
What’s Missing In Marriage?
What is a common missing ingredient in the couples that frequent my office? It is present in the beginning of a relationship. We heap it on and lavish our new love with it. Then,...
Relationship Dependency
You CAN change the cycle of pain you came from..Rewrite your story for hope, for change, for unconditional love. What triggers you into a state of fear? What pushes your buttons?...
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