The stories we tell ourselves influence how we behave, decisions we make, and how we see others and ourselves. What if thoughts we have, make a reality we don't like? Ask...
Your Thoughts Make Your Reality
read more
Category: Relationships
The Blame Game
All blame is a waste of time. How can I say that, do you suppose? I mean, come on...there are times when people deserve to get blamed. There IS such a thing as "fault" after...
The Seven Year *itch
If you can pardon the somewhat vulgar insinuation, I promise I have a point to my choice for the title of this blog. I just brewed up some Wild Mountain Blueberry coffee and am...
Insulation vs. Isolation
By request...today we are going to talk about a way of thinking, a paradigm that will help navigate the waters of relationship with folks that may not always be all that safe....
The Illusion of Control
Control is a really common topic in my office. One very simplistic definition of anxiety is "an over-focus on things that may or may not happen," in other words...thinking too...
Marital Love: Conditional or Unconditional?
When we think about marital love, we think about commitment and wanting that union to go the distance. We want to think and believe that our love when we're married will never...
Why Can’t You Just Love Me?
Love and connection...that's what clients want that come in for marriage counseling. The multiple divorces and remarriages are evidence of the lack of love people feel in...
What Is Your Anger Pointing To?
What is your anger pointing to? This is such a difficult, but oh so important question because most of us think we know the answer. And when we “ know” the answer, we naturally...
Anger and Healthy Boundaries
Have you felt strongly about something when you're really irritated, but then forget about that same thing like it was no big deal? Or have a bad thing happen that put you in a...
Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?
Why do some arguments never end? Why do you need to win? Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way? These are the very things that keep many couples...
Choosing Your People
It is a bright moment in a person's life when the realization comes that there are choices in relationships and the form, substance and significance of those relationships. We...
When Expectations Meet Reality
We don't often think about the realm between expectation and reality. Usually, people move through life believing and trusting that everyday expectations and big picture...
Finding Your Happy
Where do you find your happy? So many of us spend our lives chasing it. Dreaming of it. Hoping for it. Waiting on it. Mourning the fact that it hasn’t come yet. Is it really...
The Valley Of The Shadow
Folks come to my office asking for counsel on all kinds of things. Anger issues, help with communication, depression, anxiety, marital problems, trauma or addiction...
A True Test Of Character
Want a true test of your character? Try answering these questions . . . Does your spouse respect you? Do people view you as humble? Do your co-workers trust you to do the...
Boundary vs. Ultimatum
I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...
Caregiver Burnout
Those who spend a great deal of their life caring for others...whether that be an ailing family member, someone with a chronic or terminal illness, or your patients if you work...
Violent Communication
Do you use violent ways to communicate? I don’t mean physically hurting someone (although we certainly don’t want that, either!) What I’m talking about are ways that we...
Yes, or No?
I ran across a really good quote today that spoke to me. Louie Giglio said "Whenever you say yes to something, there is less of you for something else. Make sure your yes is...
Co-Parenting After Divorce
When people get divorced they are often angry, bitter, hurt and devastated. Their plans have been foiled and their lifestyle has changed. But in addition to all that, they now...
Categories
Abandonment
Addiction
Affairs
Anger
Anxiety
Codependent
Communication
Counterdependent
Depression
Differentiation
Divorce
Family Counseling
Grief
Individual Therapy
Intimacy
Marital Therapy
Marriage
Parenting
PTSD
Relationships
Self Abandonment
Self-Help
Separation
Shame
Uncategorized
Vulnerability
Our Blog