What happens when your partner or friend tells you about a problem? Do you automatically go into “fix it” mode? It’s a pretty common response to want to right a wrong. Something...
The “Fixer”
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Category: Relationships
The Blame Game
How do you discuss tough topics? If you are able to self-differentiate, not define yourself based on another person's actions or words, then you are able to hear another...
Are Your Emotions Unstable?
Do your emotions sometimes feel unstable? Do you find yourself doing things you thought or promised you wouldn’t do? Does your partner? You may be experiencing what I call the...
The Most Powerful Last Word
Do you need to have the last word in an argument? Why is it so hard to let the conversation die without having the last say? What drives this compulsive need to make the last...
Intimacy Builder: Validation
Validation simply means acknowledging, and giving importance to, the worldview of another. Validation is a powerful tool in a therapist’s toolbag, and can disarm anxiety and...
Why I Don’t Give Advice
It's pretty common for people to seek out a counselor to get some advice. They want answers, a referee, an expert to tell them how to get out of the place they find themselves...
LOVE
What is love? What does love mean to you? How do you feel when you say that word to yourself? What is it like to say to someone "I love you?" How do you love when you're feeling...
Invitation vs. Expectation
I work with couples regularly who are stuck in the power struggle. They fight with each other over which one is going to act and behave according to the other’s worldview. It...
Why Is Marriage So Hard?
Why is marriage so hard? We meet the person who fits us perfectly and the love flows so freely, it is difficult to imagine it could ever be hard. So why is it so tough? I have 4...
Dating After Divorce
Should I really start dating again? Am I going to make the same mistakes? Maybe I should just be single. Are you considering entering the dating arena after the divorce...
Premarital Counseling
Begin the marriage journey prepared and informed with premarital counseling! Planning a wedding, getting engaged, choosing wedding rings, even remarrying are all exciting times...
Does Marriage Counseling Work?
It’s a valid question. Does marriage counseling actually work? As a marriage counselor, you would expect my answer to be a resounding, “Yes!”, and to an extent it is, but I’m...
What’s Missing In Marriage?
What is a common missing ingredient in the couples that frequent my office? It is present in the beginning of a relationship. We heap it on and lavish our new love with it. Then,...
Relationship Dependency
You CAN change the cycle of pain you came from..Rewrite your story for hope, for change, for unconditional love. What triggers you into a state of fear? What pushes your buttons?...
We Never Resolve Anything…
Are you the couple that avoids and distances when you don’t agree? Or, are you the raging couple? Do you fight constantly? In either situation, someone is trying to control the...
Are You Too Needy?
Are you too needy? Most of us would never admit to such a thing, yet we all have a little clinginess in us. How do you know when you are too needy in a relationship? Signs Here...
Divorce Is A Tragedy Of The Heart
Divorce is a tragedy of the heart. I don’t encourage it and I certainly don’t judge anyone who has had to go through it. Sadly, I have joined those ranks recently myself. No...
Why is it all My fault?
Do you ever wonder how your spouse seemed one way when you first met but then turned out to be a totally different person after a few years?? At first, you can’t imagine how this...
How To Develop Patience
Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy. Be careful what you ask for and for SURE be careful what you pray for. If you have prayed or otherwise asked the Universe for the trait of...
Resentment and Anger in Marriage
Resentment is defined as “Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.” (Wikipedia, 2013) Feeling piqued and angry, indignation takes energy, is depleting, and taints the...
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