It's normal to feel frustrated, stuck in a pattern, or unhappy with life circumstances.It's also normal to know what causes frustration, irritation, and disappointment. The...
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Category: Relationships
“It’s Going to be OK”
I had a client the other day remind me of something that illustrates a great point about being a good friend...particularly being a good friend when your friend is in pain for...
Your Thoughts Make Your Reality
The stories we tell ourselves influence how we behave, decisions we make, and how we see others and ourselves. What if thoughts we have, make a reality we don't like? Ask...
The Blame Game
All blame is a waste of time. How can I say that, do you suppose? I mean, come on...there are times when people deserve to get blamed. There IS such a thing as "fault" after all,...
Marriage: The Seven Year *itch
If you can pardon the somewhat vulgar insinuation, I promise I have a point to my choice for the title of this blog and it's about marriage. I just brewed up some Wild Mountain...
Insulation vs. Isolation
By request...today we are going to talk about a way of thinking, a paradigm that will help navigate the waters of relationship with folks that may not always be all that safe....
The Illusion of Control
Control is a really common topic in my office. One very simplistic definition of anxiety is "an over-focus on things that may or may not happen," in other words...thinking too...
Marital Love: Conditional or Unconditional?
When we think about marital love, we think about commitment and wanting that union to go the distance. We want to think and believe that our love when we're married will never...
Why Can’t You Just Love Me?
Love and connection...that's what clients want that come in for marriage counseling. The multiple divorces and remarriages are evidence of the lack of love people feel in...
What Is Your Anger Pointing To?
What is your anger pointing to? This is such a difficult, but oh so important question because most of us think we know the answer.And when we " know" the answer, we naturally...
Anger and Healthy Boundaries
Have you felt strongly about something when you're really irritated, but then forget about that same thing like it was no big deal? Or have a bad thing happen that put you in a...
Why Do You NEED To Win The Argument?
Why do some arguments never end? Why do you need to win? Why do you just have to get the other person to see it your way? These are the very things that keep many couples caught...
Choosing Your People
It is a bright moment in a person's life when the realization comes that there are choices in relationships and the form, substance and significanceof those relationships. We all...
When Expectations Meet Reality
We don't often think about the realm between expectation and reality. Usually, people move through life believing and trusting that everyday expectations and big picture...
Finding Your Happy
Where do you find your happy? So many of us spend our lives chasing it. Dreaming of it. Hoping for it. Waiting on it. Mourning the fact that it hasn't come yet. Is it really that...
The Valley Of The Shadow
Folks come to my office asking for counsel on all kinds of things. Anger issues, help with communication, depression, anxiety, marital problems, trauma or addiction...
A True Test Of Character
Want a true test of your character? Try answering these questions . . . Does your spouse respect you? Do people view you as humble? Do your co-workers trust you to do the right...
Boundary vs. Ultimatum
I cannot tell you how many times I have helped folks who have difficulties having boundaries to develop better ones, only to have their spouses get super reactive to those new...
Caregiver Burnout
Those who spend a great deal of their life caring for others...whether that be an ailing family member, someone with a chronic or terminal illness, or your patients if you work...
Violent Communication
Do you use violent ways to communicate? I don't mean physically hurting someone (although we certainly don't want that, either!) What I'm talking about are ways that we...
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